22 Nov Radical Authenticity, Radical Acceptance
A while back, a client, age 78, came to see me at my Innermost Sherpa Office for subconscious change session to transform negative beliefs about money into positive beliefs about money and prosperity. As a young man, he had wanted to be a farmer – to work with the land, the soil and grow things, but his parents talked him out of it. They preferred that he work in a white-collar field to earn money, so he went into engineering. Not long after, he realized that he felt more comfortable identifying as a woman, started hormone treatments and began dressing as one. He soon fell in love with another woman. She said that she would marry him, but only if he lived his life as a man. He stopped hormone treatments and began dressing as a man to please her. The following decades contained a series of unfortunate events, and he gained and lost money many times. He was going through bankruptcy as we met. I believe that by giving in to the wishes of others throughout his life, he lost himself and his personal power. He renounced parts of himself to please others in order to gain love and approval, which cost him dearly.
Gabor Mate (Family Practitioner/Palliative Care Medical Coordinator for Palliative Care at Vancouver Hospital), speaks about this very topic. He saw that those who got neurological diseases, auto-immune diseases, and cancer all had the same patterns of people-pleasing, of living a life that was inauthentic.
Check out his 30 min video here:
To live our best life, we’ve got to be congruent in how we think, act, and behave. We need to be the same person across situations rather than putting on a mask, or a “face” depending on who we’re with or where we’re at. This goes for putting on a happy face and telling everyone you’re “fine” when you are not. On an energetic level, this is sensed by others as an incongruence – a feeling that something’s off.
So how do you get radically authentic with yourself? Use your feelings as your guide. What does it feel like in your body when you are content and devoid of anxiety? Do you feel light, are you breathing easy? Does your chest expand? What does your face feel like? Maybe your jaw and brow-line is relaxed, or you have a hint of a smile.
What activities bring you a sense of inner peace and joy- that flow state? DO MORE OF THOSE! If your work doesn’t provide that feeling for you, you can either shift into a different career or shift the way that you view your current career, appreciating that it allows you to do all the things that you love while not working.
What about your interactions with others. Do you feel good or bad when interacting with this person? If you feel bad, ask why? There is something that you can do within yourself to guide yourself into a good feeling state. This is within your power. (If you don’t believe you can do this, click here and book a session with me : ) -we can change that!)
If you are deciding whether or not to do something, ask yourself, “Out of all of my options, which one will bring me the greatest sense of peace and joy?” Then do it!!!
Along with becoming radically authentic, extend RADICAL ACCEPTANCE to others. There is such a wide range of ideas and values, and not everyone will share your own – even within your family. Accept that no idea is a stupid one, it’s just different from your own. Allow yourself to enjoy your opinions, interests, and values, and allow others to enjoy theirs! They don’t need to be the same! All of these variations of thoughts and ideas are necessary for balance and contrast.
What a great way to step into the holiday season. Finally getting real – no longer hiding parts of yourself to gain the approval of others. Accepting others where they are at, rather than thinking that they should be at a different place. Accept yourself and accept others.
Fun Mantra: I AM ME, AND I AM THE ONLY ME I CAN BE!
Much love and happy holiday wishes,