02 Feb Want to Experience A Massive Shift? Quit the Blame Game!
If you’re in a state of discomfort in your life, you’ll probably see that you’re blaming something outside of yourself: I’m in this situation because of my genetic makeup, my spouse, my kids, my co-workers, who’s in charge of the government. Someone or something making you do or feel something.
I’m here to tell you, my friend, that it is all within you. No one is making you feel anything. You are the only one who decides how to frame what happens, the meaning you take from it, and the decisions that you make as a result of it. When you stop looking outside of yourself and take personal responsibility for EVERYTHING that’s happening in your life, you will experience a massive shift.
In the book Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender, David R. Hawkins says the following:
“To overcome blame, it is necessary to look at the secret satisfaction and enjoyment we get out of self-pity, resentment, anger, and self-excuses, and to begin to surrender all of these little payoffs. The purpose of this step is to move up from being a victim of our feelings to choosing to have them. If we merely acknowledge and observe them, begin to disassemble them, and surrender the component parts, then we are consciously exercising choice. In this way, we make a major move out of helplessness.
It is helpful in overcoming resistance and taking responsibility for our negative programs and feelings to see that they come from the small aspect of ourselves. It is the very nature of the smallest part of ourselves to think negatively, so there’s an unconscious tendency to agree readily to its limited viewpoint. But that is not the whole of our beingness; for outside and beyond the smaller self is our greater Self. We may not be conscious of our inner greatness. We may not be experiencing it, but it is there. If we let go of our resistance to it, we can begin to experience it.
Keep on going because it will get better and better all the time. Letting go gains a certain momentum. It is easy to keep it going once it is started. The higher we feel, the easier it is to let go. That’s a good time to reach down and let go of some things (suppressed and repressed “garbage”) that we wouldn’t want to tackle if we were in the dumps. There is always a feeling to be let up and surrendered.”
What I’m inviting you to do is to take full responsibility for your feeling state and where you find yourself in your life. You don’t like it? It’s up to you to change it! What do you need to do to bring yourself back into alignment with who you really are? If you’ve been avoiding something within yourself by blaming circumstances outside of yourself it might take a radical shift. You may need to have a really difficult talk with someone (or many someones) or change some major habits in your life. You may eventually even need to change your relationship or your job.
What’s important is that you are moving towards what resonates as good and true within you rather than avoiding or moving away from things you don’t want to address. You can’t run away from anything because YOU are always with YOU and it’s YOU who’s doing all of it.
Now, there are some of you out there reading this, who think, “Blaming others/things outside of myself is not my problem at all. I have no one to blame but myself. I’m the one who did this! I’m responsible for my own suffering and for hurting everyone around me, too!” Well, self-blame is just as harmful. It only keeps you stuck in a loop of despair. You may judge your past self from your current perspective and hate what you’ve done. But guess what?! You didn’t have this awareness then! You didn’t have the wisdom then that you have now!!! A mistake simply means “missed the mark.” So know that with all of the variables that you had back then and the mindset that you were in at that time, that you probably made the best decision you could. And then you experienced, and you gained new information, and you grew! And you will always be evolving and growing. It’s inevitable. So accept what you did or didn’t do. Let that sh!t go! Chalk it up to experience. Recognize the new place that you’re in NOW. Appreciate this new place. Know that you will continue to learn and grow even more.
Quit the blame game. See what happens. I dare you.
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